This past week has been one of deep contemplation for me. I was recently asked to commit to something, a big something, and that something is so heavy and real and comes with such a huge responsibility that my first (natural) thoughts were full of reluctance and doubt. All the logic within me was telling me that this wasn’t a good idea, that this would be incredibly hard and…if I’m going to be completely honest with myself…I would say that this something (at first thought) was just not something I wanted to commit to. After all, my life is pretty good right now, why would I want to change that?!
I woke up the next morning with this still heavy on my heart, and turned to prayer for guidance before making a decision – my mind was telling me no, but something within me was making that word very hard for me to say. I needed my answer to be spirit driven and I needed a word from God. I then opened up my bible study, as is my morning ritual, and the first words that I read were as clear as if it were God sitting next to me and giving me the answer. (Needless to say, it was freaky!) The particularly interesting part about this is that I ALWAYS finish each day’s study – except this one time I hadn’t finished the day before, and was picking up where I had left off. The answer to the very question I had, was literally right in front of my eyes. The remaining lesson was full of supporting scripture and references that solidified what He wanted me to do.
Isn’t it funny though, that even when something is right in front of us, we still have the tendency to deny it if it’s outside of our comfort zone? This was the case for me. All day long I prayed and prayed and questioned and prayed some more, and tried to reason with all the “what if’s” and every other spin I could put on why this wasn’t what I was supposed to do; and then I realized something…sometimes you just need to say “Yes” and let the Lord fill in the blanks. Sometimes, for Him to work out a miracle, you have to step out of your comfort zone and trust that He will work out the rest.
The second I realized that, was the very moment I felt peace about the situation. A moment of clarity. A call to faithfulness. So this is where I’m at. Surrendering to something BIG, scary, uncomfortable; but most importantly, something that has incredible potential to change lives. Something I now realize, wholeheartedly, that I am being called to do.